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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

How did you know?

How did you know when your family was complete or when you needed to add more children to the mix? I am curious to hear especially from you out there that have adopted more than once. How long did you wait before you adopted again? How did you raise the funds?


Shelley said...

1.)How did you know when your family was complete? I don't know the answer to this one because we aren't there yet. I know that I've felt strongly in the past that we were NOT "complete". I also know that God completely took the desire to have a baby away from both me and my husband, which helped us in our clarity with adoption
2.) How long did we wait between adoptions? Xander came home from Ukraine in August of 2007, we started the adoption process again in January of 2008(so, 5 months later) and Grifyn came home from Serbia in April of 2008...8 months after Xander. Once Grifyn came home, we PCSed compliments of the Army, so we had to wait a while and settle in to a new normal. We started our 3rd adoption(and 4th since we're adopting 2!)in March of 2009 and we're still in process.
Will this be the last one? never say never :)
3.) How did you raise the funds? We paid for the first adoption out of pocket. With the second adoption, we paid the US fees our of pocket, we got a grant to cover facilitator fees and we had someone donate the remaining money for in country expenses. With this adoption, we've covered some of the fees out of pocket, we've done a whole lot of fundraising, we've received a grant and we're still working on the rest!

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to any of your questions. You have to do what's right for your family.

Karen J said...

I've talked about this done or not-done thing a lot with various people in various stages. And the answer from those who are done is ALWAYS some form of "you just know." I'm not there yet (which is scary as I have 8) so I guess I don't "just know." And it sounds like you are getting an itching for some more?!?!?! What ever happened to Keith's younger brother?

adoptedthree said...

My heart just knew there was something missing. Although we are getting older now, I really want to adopt an older girl at some point, but I know now is not that point. First, we would need to ensure we have the room and second ensure my children are ready!

There was always a way to find the money- whether by fundraising or working a second job etc...

After three adoptions, it just became a little easier.

Rob and Steph Puterbaugh said...

a friend of mine from the fairborn ward told me that if you adopt a child who is older sometimes the state pays for the fees. so, if you're looking into another adoption maybe you would want to go that route?

Courtney said...

Most SWs will recommend that you have your adopted child/ren home for a year before bringing in any new children (but that's not a hard and fast rule). We started our second adoption process 9 months after the boys came home because we knew the process would take awhile and that the boys would have been home a year before we brought anyone home.
I've always heard that if you're done, you KNOW you're done. So I guess we're not done yet. ;)
We've paid for both of our adoptions out-of-pocket although we were able to raise some money through RR this past adoption for the girls. That definitely helps!

Amy said...

Hi Jill!
We have three kiddos - all adopted from Ukraine. Our first two were in 2001... in 2004 - I had to practically beg my hubby for just "one" more.. we started the homestudy in 2004 and were not able to get to Ukraine until the very end of 2006... I really want one more girl - just to even things out (smile!) but the hubby is fighting it!
The saying that you will know - is true for some people.. unfortunately - I don't know yet either...
Quite honestly - you need to decide on what is most important for your family. As you know, international adoptions take alot longer than most - and are of course expensive.. if that is the way you "think" you may go again - start saving money now! You can always just set the money aside for something else - if you decide that you are "done"!
For fundraising options - there is a group on Yahoo! that shares lots of great ideas. Its hard though - as if you just recently adopted and did alot of fundraising - the same people may not be as "generous" as they were for the first adoption...

Best wishes!