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Sunday, August 01, 2010

A fasting story

Fasting is a monthly experience in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The first Sunday of each month we fast for 24 hours. Fasting is not an easy thing for me. I usually become dehydrated and nauseated each month, but I follow the commandment because I know that it is what God wants for me to do.

Recently, Tyler & I have been wondering if we would have any more biological children. As you know, Anna, was born to us one year after we married. She is a blessing in our lives. With secondary infertility, we were inspired to grow our family through the miracle of international adoption. Keith & Iryna are also special blessings in our lives. Now that Anna is 8 years old and our twins are 6 years old, it seems like a logical topic to have more children.

We are open to having more children and/or adopting again, but the topic of our fast this month was to ask God if we would have biological children again. In times past, I haven't asked a question so emotionally charged as this question during my fast. Tyler & I fasted together. We felt the Spirit during church and when we got home, we made up a list of positive and less-than-positive attributes of our family. Like many families, we feel that we are a good family with much to offer a child.

Towards the end of our fast, Tyler gave me a blessing. Here is part of it:

"Our Heavenly Father truly is pleased with you as a mother. Remember throughout your life that your role as mother is the greatest responsibility and your work will have the greatest impact."

It was a wonderful blessing. It did not, however, answer our question of whether or not we will have more biological children. God asked me "with patience to wait upon knowledge of the will of God," and so that is what we will do.

Afterwards, I was reading in the scriptures and came across this verse:

"And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will."

I felt like this applied exactly to what I had been fasting about today. I am so blessed to have the gospel in my life.


Sarah C said...

That is a great thing to fast about. It sounds like you had a wonderful priesthood blessing. I am glad Heavenly Father is hearing and answering your prayers. I know you are not pregnant now, but you know he is listening. I like the scripture you posted. The Lord does know all things. I am praying for you. You are a great mom. Your children are blessed to have an amazing mom.

Alabama Apples said...

Thank you for sharing this. How true it is the Lord works in His own time and in His own knowledge. I am so thankful for the knowledge of this-it gives me strength in times of doubt, despair and through-out the normal stresses of our lives.

Thank you for your inspiration!

Carina said...

I love to read your perspective and your testimony. Thank you for always sharing it. I can imagine that this must be very hard for you, and it warms my heart to heart that you are proceeding with the guidance and influence of the Spirit. You are a great example to us all :)