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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Silly Me

We woke up early and headed to the hospital on-base. I had an appointment with my DR to do an ultrasound to see if the follicles had developed enough, etc. I assumed that it would just be a typical ultrasound--you know, where they put the thing on top of your tummy, press hard, and you see a picture on the screen. Silly me. That was NOT what happened. I didn't even know about this type of ultrasound--they did it vaginally. Yeah, I wasn't really prepared for that. Oh well, that's what had to be done. And the follicles weren't developed enough yet, so I'm scheduled to go back on monday. Then the nurse had DH demonstrate how to give me the HCG shot. He wonders why I'm so worried about this shot, and I'm thinking..."Well, you've NEVER given anyone a shot and I already hate needles...and you wonder why I'm worried?!"

I was thinking about this process of infertility today. It occurred to me that I am self inflicting myself to reap a beautiful reward: another baby. But I hadn't previously thought about how I am purposely doing this---me---without anyone else telling me to do it. Then I had the thought that it might be a way for me to understand--ever so slightly--what Christ did when he willingly put himself in pain for the better good. Now don't misunderstand, I am NOT saying that I in any way compare to what Christ went through--just that in doing infertility, I can possibly understand it better. Make sense?

After the hospital, Anna & I hit the YMCA. I did 30 on E and 1 on LW. Yeah. For some reason I was really dragging...I mean, moving in slow-motion on the elliptical machine. When I decided that I would only do 30 minutes, I headed for a leg weight machine. I did a couple of reps and about fell over. I determined that I needed some sleep, so we headed home. After Anna went to school I took a nap beginning at 2pm. I woke up at 5pm. WOW. I must have really needed a nap.

I actually got Anna to bed by 7:30pm. We started her bed routine just before 7pm. That is really good for me--I want her in bed by 7pm. Of course, it's 8:30pm now & she's still awake--but she's in her room, ready for sleeping...whenever it may happen.

Have you heard of EFT? Here's a great video that explains it. I have actually done EFT before and it really helped me overcome some pain from my past. I recommend it to anyone.

1 comment:

Melisa said...

Yeah, I don't like those kind of ultrasounds either. What a bummer that you have to do shots. I don't like having Brad do medical stuff on me either, and he does it for a living. I just don't want to be mad at him if it hurts. I'd rather be mad at someone else. Weird, huh.