I took Anna & Laura to school and then walked around the neighborhood for 20 minutes. I went to Music Theory. We're working on relative & parallel minor and how to instantly recognize intervals and their quality. Fun stuff. It feels good to learn.
This afternoon Tyler took me to see an iridologist. It was my first time to have my eyes read like that. It's amazing what she could tell just by looking at my eyes. She knew instantly that my knees are bothering me. Amazing. There's definitely something to iridology.
For some reason I just broke down this afternoon. One second I was laughing uncontrollably, then I was crying. It was crazy! I think that I'm stressed--but I struggle recognizing that I'm stressed and even worse--I don't know how to de-stress. So, please tell me: how do you know/realize that you're stressed + what do you do to de-stress. Please comment. I need help.
5 comments:
Jill,
I do several things to de-stress: get a smoothie, check my email, listen to fun non-schoool tunes, read a book for fun (like a cookbook), talk to friends, go shopping, eat Asian food, cook. Since you have Tyler, ask for a massage. Sometimes I need to be with people, and sometimes I need to be by myself. Watching a movie or a favorite TV show has been known to help me relax. A hot shower or bath with scented oils or salts and/or candles seems to help a lot of women. However, I find it imperative to identify the cause of the stress, so that I can pick the appropriate de-stress activity, and so that I can compartmentalize the issue. When I can succinctly wrap the problem up in a box, I can then put it on the shelf and deal with it when I am ready.
But, as you mentioned, you cannot always recognize that you're stressed out. Me too. It occurs to me when I start to have negative self-talk. Too much of it begins to feel like extra voices in my head. It's kind of scary because all of the voices sound like me. That's when I realize that depression could be getting close. And I can only know that because I've been there before, and because I've made myself learn to recognize those feelings and thoughts before they lead me to do something permanent and icky. You know what I'm talking about. It's the issue I dealt with my last senior year at OSU. So, basically I'm saying that I have a built-in program that I start following when depression hits. It's there for self-preservation. I'm not saying that you're depressed. Only you truly know that. But my first defense against depression is all of those things I do when I'm stressed out.
My guess is that being back in school is a tad bit over-whelming. And you're back in music, and dealing with musicians' egos. Adopt a hint of ego for yourself, tell those people to shove it when they toss it in your face, and go about your business. What all undergrads in music need to figure out is that any competition with other musicians is for chair placement in ensembles, and that's mostly for instrumentalists. You do not have to sound like, sing like, or otherwise be anyone else but yourself. That may be why I hold on to singing as much as I do. My voice is me, and I don't have to do it like anyone else. I finally realized when I came to do my masters that I was only competing against myself. To see how much I could improve in my time here. You're there to be the best singer-Jill that you can be. You're not trying to be Sarah Brightman-Jill or Elly Omeling-Jill or any other WSU singer-Jill. You're there to be Jill. Or Jill Pierce-Jill, if you will.
What you learn to deal with is that your skill and talent is not measured simply by a degree, kind of like Tyler's (is this even accurate??) where it implies a certain set of basic skills and some more refined ones. It's not simply a piece of paper to put on diplay on a wall, and then you get a job. Being a musician is about a very real, very personal expression of who you are, or who you can portray, in a way that not many other fields ever even attempt. As a singer, since you are your instrument, instead of it being in your hands physically, it makes us a little more paranoid about how we present ourselves. I dealt with this issue alot during my bachelor's degree. Depression made me finally accept this reality and deal with it too. It will get better. I promise it will.
And as cliche as it sounds, smiling does help. Don't know why. Don't need to know why anymore. Just go with it. Ok, enough rambling. Talk to you later.
KC
Geez KC (I mean anonymous)...write a novel why don't ya.
Take this simple advice Jill, count to 1003, starting with 999, and if that doesn't work, punch a stick man and then give Anna kisses and tell her that daddy isn't crying because his stomach hurts, he is laughing really hard because mommy actually counted from 999-1003.
GINN, PHILIP
My Dear Sweet Friend,
Be as kind to yourself as you can, and remember that all this is just for a season. It won't go on forever, but when all is said and done you will have earned something that you have dearly wanted. Deep breathing helps. take a minute and take a few deep breaths, letting them out slowly.
Irridology is cool. I've had it done too. On Monday I went to an acupuncturist in Springfield. He really feels he can help me. I have a friend who has been going to him for her KNEES and he has really helped. One of her knees wouldn't even bend and now she walks fine. She even vacationed in China this summer and walked everywhere.
Let me know if you want to know more. Love K
I typed up a long response and the computer froze. Grrr.
I'll have to rethink it all now. :)
Well, like KC said, I find it helpful to identify what is stressing me out and then deal with it. Like, when I was in college I would get extremely stressed around finals and project deadlines. I started to get horrible heart burn, stomach aches, irritable, and a bit ADD. I didn't want to screw up and not finish my tasks, but I would get so overwhelmed sometimes that I would just take a break and not do what I needed to just get done. I didn't know I was stressed for a while, until it started getting on other people's nerves. They would comment on how unlike myself I had been. So I thought about it and started to write down what I felt like during busy times in my life. I was able to discover the above mentioned things. Then i had to think what i could do to prevent feeling so overwhelmed and stressed. For me, it came down to being organized. I had to be completely and anally organized and dedicated. I couldn't wait till the night before to start a project. I had to be annoyingly consistent and do as much as I could handle every day until the feat was accomplished. When I HAD to get out and de-stress I would go dancing or play some killer-get-the-anger-out raquetball. I would tell myself to go to bed and have a limited social life because the things I was trying to achieve didn't allow for lots of friends and play time. I had to go to bed early and rise early. That's the single most important thing, because you really can accomplish so much in the early hours when your head is clear and you don't have to deal with other people yet. I also had to be strict about not doing any homework or school-related things on Sunday. This was my day off to relax and recharge. I could be a scholar of God this day and be filled with his light. I could devote the day to my family and my calling(s) and just push thoughts of school out for a day. It's tough! I hated being stressed out, but once I could get a handle on things and be early on projects, I felt so contented and at peace. Sometimes you just have to let a class go too. If you find you can't handle it all, then maybe you should rethink your schedule. Your counselor might know what is best to take and such, but he/she doesn't know YOU. You have to be true to yourself and make sure you keep God as your wingman. Good luck! You know you can always ask me for help!
Love ya!
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