Help outfit Michael, Sarah, and John

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

How I am doing

It's good to be back home with my family. As much as I enjoyed my hospital vacation - there's just no place like home. I feel like I just came from Food Rehab. I truly classify myself as a food addict. After the surgery and even now I have been "detoxing" from my life of eating whatever I wanted to eat. I am struggling with it. I don't like it. I would rather be ordering a pizza than eating my 1/4 cup of yogurt - which is termed a meal - even though I know that this whole experience will be good for me. Sometimes I am snappy about things - I compare myself to a former druggie who is trying to live without their drug and I imagine life wouldn't be pretty for anyone doing that.

It was wonderful to snuggle each of my kids and husband yesterday. Keith seemed pretty upset with me and didn't want to snuggle, but eventually my singing and rubbing his back brought him around. Kristina snuggled up for 30 minutes with me on the recliner - I can tell she missed her mama. Anna snuggled and has talked up a storm ever since I walked through the door. And Tyler is genuinely happy for us to be reunited - I feel the same way. I enjoyed sleeping in my bed last night and waking up to see my sweetheart this morning.

Yesterday we had an oxygen machine brought to our home and I have a 50ft plastic tube attached to it and me. The oxygen makes life so different for me - I don't view it as a burden in any way. My mind is more alert now because of it. I will most likely be on it for some time, however I feel that once I have some substantial weight loss that it won't be as necessary. I am convinced that I have needed oxygen for some time. I had been struggling to get enough sleep in the past few months and would be tired throughout the day. I even did an overnight sleep study. I feel that with my oxygen now, I will be more rested and more mentally capable than beforehand.

I am having some pain from my incisions (6 of them) and become tired from doing things, but that is to be expected from having surgery. My family is very helpful and today I had 2 visitors - Angela & Teresa who cheered me up with a personalized orange soup bowl (perfect), flowers, and a balloon.

I finished up phase 1 of the post lapband surgery while in the hospital. Phase 1: non-calorie drinks, such as crystal light, and chicken broth. Yummy. I am currently on phase 2, which lasts for 3 weeks. Phase 2: 1/4 cup of pureed foods, such as yogurt, baby food, cream of wheat, oatmeal, pureed meats, whey protein, ricotta cheese, pureed fruits and vegetables, sugar-free hot chocolate and instant breakfast, etc. After 3 weeks, I will be on Phase 3 which will allow more solid foods. I will then advance to 1/2 cup of food at a time. I will admit, I don't feel full on 1/4 cup of yogurt, but I hope with time I will adjust.

If you have any questions, please post them as comments. All for now.


Carrie said...

I am so glad you are doing okay! We have kept you in our prayers. My older son said, "who is Jill?" I had to explain how we knew each other and they never forgot to pray for you. Sorry about the food thing! I am so addicted to sweets and dr. Pepper! You can be my inspiration to get it under control! Good luck with recovery and thanks for the updates!

Carina said...

Oh, wow, Jill! I'm amazed at your strength and what you are going through. I'm glad your kids snuggled with you =) Good luck with everything, and please keep us posted!

Saquel25 said...

I'm so glad that you are home now and recovering. Hopefully you'll settle into the new diet sooner rather than later. I'm glad the oxygen is helping out. There's nothing worse than not getting enough sleep and then not having enough energy. Tyler was so sweet to post for you. I was worrying about you all week and it was good to know you had come through it all even with the complications. You are a strong person and can overcome this. I'm excited to hear how your journey progresses!

Mary said...

I'm so glad you're feeling much better with the oxygen!

Question about only eating 1/4 cup of food: how often do you get to eat it? If it's only 3 times a day, then you must be starving!

If you can hold on for the first few weeks, things will get better. My first week or two of Weight Watchers I felt the same - wanting to make a big bowl of fettucini alfredo and follow it up with cake because that's what I was used to doing. I felt grumpy, irritable, and hungry. I, too, felt like a druggie who was detoxing, because even when I wasn't hungry I had intense food cravings.

It does get better, though! I started being less irritable and the food cravings lessened, then stopped. I didn't get hungry as often (and learned to distinguish when I was truly hungry and when I was bored and felt like snacking). I learned to savor each and every bite of my meal because I couldn't just take seconds and thirds like I did before. To my surprise, food tasted better - probably because I wasn't snarfing it down like before.

It's going to be hard adjusting, but I have faith that you can do it. You are Jill, The WARRIOR! Hang in there - we're all rooting (and praying) for you!!!

RML- Being More Through Having Less said...

Sending strength your way from a fellow food addict! What you have done is very hard and scary, but hopefully the worst is over.

Sarah C said...

I am glad you are home with your family. It sounds like they really missed you. I am glad you were able to have some good snuggle time. I am glad the oxygen is helping. Good luck with the new diet. I understand what you are saying about feeling like an addict. I feel the same way. It is soooo hard to not eat what I want. I am so proud of you. You can do it. You are an inspiration to me. I will keep praying for you. I know this is not easy. You are a strong person. You have support of friends and family. Best of all, you have the help of Heavenly Father. I know you are trusting in him to help you do this. You will do great. Hugs.

Kathey said...

I am so So SO glad you are home! I'm glad the oxygen is helping you. (Having the 50-foot tube helps the noisy machine to be farther away. That helps too.)

We'll keep the prayers going.

Love, Kathey

Melody said...

Jill, I'm so proud of you for doing this. If you ever have questions about health or nutrition, I can either answer it for you or give you a book on it ;) You are in our prayers. We love you!