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Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Macaroni and cheese

It's no secret that Keith likes macaroni and cheese. In fact, it's probably his favorite food. He can even say it - or something that sounds a lot like it. Tonight, Tyler was running errands, so I made macaroni and cheese. (I like to cook something better when he is home) I made one box for me and my 3 kids, which is plenty! In fact, Iryna, Keith, & I all had second helpings, along with the peas and peaches that I served on the side.

After Keith finished his second helping of MAC, he asked for more (no surprise there). I showed him the pot (which was empty) and he started screaming. I calmly suggested that it might be time for bed. So I took him to get on his jammies and brush his teeth - which he loathes doing - and then I rocked him in the rocking chair in his room. For 20 minutes - Keith screamed, squirmed, and hit himself while I snuggled, loved on, and I sang to him. It was not fun. Eventually he asked if he could go to bed, so I tucked him in, kissed him, and left the room.

And now all my energy is gone - physical and emotional. It's difficult to have a child who screams non-stop in my ears and behaves like that. There are days when it seems like my twins are just like other children, but then there are moments (like tonight) where I'm reminded that I definitely have two SPECIAL NEEDS children who demand need more attention, more love, and more understanding from me. Sometimes I feel like I can't give any more and I just want to hide somewhere - usually at the computer - until I can collect myself and start again.

6 comments:

Diana said...

Oh, man! I so know how this goes. It is indeed so not fun and SOOOO exhausting. Sorry today was rough.

MoonDog said...

I'm sorry. I know thats not fun. I have had similar moments with all my kids, bio or adopted. that doesnt make it any more appealing to face though. hang in there mama. I remember Ethan cried so much I heard him crying even if he wasnt.

Brianne said...

I'm sorry...I can't relate from personal experience because I don't have any children, but I support you one hundred percent in your efforts! Keep smiling because the Lord will continue to bless you for raising His precious children.

Jason and Lissa said...

It's not just special needs kids who have their moments. We really struggle with Kiera. I'm pretty sure emotional exhaustion is worse than any other kind. Hang in there!

Carina said...

Oh, Jill, I am so sorry...I can imagine it must be so incredibly hard for you. Know that you are loved, and that your kids all love you, no matter how hard it is sometimes. You are such a good mama! Keep it up!

Sarah C said...

I am sorry Jill. Keith is a sweetheart. I am sorry he was having a hard day.