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Friday, May 11, 2012

A gift

Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it's called the present. (from Kung Fu Panda) This is a great quote for me right now, to focus on just today and be grateful for the day, itself. I have been thinking about how difficult this adjustment has been...and then it occurred to me that I went through something similar after we adopted the twins. It became so difficult that I started on anti-depressants. I needed them to help me through. And this time I am going through the adjustment again and I'm not on anti-depressants...so it's going to be hard, right? Of course! And it took us up to 2 years to feel like things were really good after adopting the twins, so it's not right to expect us to be there after 5 weeks (can you believe it's been 5 weeks since they've been home?!). I need to think about today and work with what I have.

Have you ever heard yourself say something and it surprised you? Today I have heard myself respond to my children in a loving way and it was so nice. If they needed help, I heard a calm, patience voice respond that I would assist them. Now...it wasn't every time (I wish it was!) but it happened and that was exciting. I want to be a great mama to my kids - I really do - but I have been in survival mode since we came home. I go to bed exhausted and I wake up ready for another busy day. I am not complaining - I love my life - but it's HARD! And one day I will read back over these posts and recall how hard it was - because of my documenting it right now! ha ha.

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3 comments:

Hevel said...

It's hard. People don't expect it to be hard, but it is. Adjusting to it all takes time.

Just try to enjoy the pleasant moments!

Joseph and Kamber said...

Keep going. It's really hard as you know, but totally worth it.

Carina said...

You are amazing. Just remember that. You can and will do this--documenting is great to see where you've been, and in a year or two you'll look back and go, "Wow. I am amazing." You really will :) Love you!