Silas' Surgery

We now have a date for Silas' surgery. It is on June 21st and many things need to happen before then. The surgery is 3 hours away from us and so I will be going (alone) with Silas and will be staying at the Ronald McDonald house during his surgery/recovery. We have to be there a couple of days early for pre-op. My wonderful in-laws are driving down from Oklahoma to spend some time with Silas before he goes in for surgery and then will watch the older 4 kids for about 5 of the 10 days that I will be gone. Tyler will use his 2 day pass that he earned by scoring 100% on his PT test (way to go, honey!) and then we will see about some friends from church watching the kids the other couple of days. I am putting together some recipes that I can prepare ahead of time and freeze, so my in-laws can just enjoy the grandchildren and not have to worry about dinner.

It is a lot to take in and I will admit that I am overwhelmed by it all, not to mention that I'm still very much adjusting to having 5 kids. The last few days have been especially rough. I normally wake up with a positive attitude and ready to take on the day, but the past few days I have woken up already feeling discouraged. I know that this will take time and I know that it will improve but that doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy right NOW. I am also back up to 400 pounds now. Last September I weighed 415 and started on a high protein/low carb diet and lost 26 pounds by January of this year. I have gained 11 pounds and that is frustrating. When I think about dieting I want to scream, cry, and bake something. I am making an effort to drink a protein shake each day and drinking water, plus eating a total of 5 servings of fruits/veggies per day. For now, that is enough and I hope to gain the strength I need to lose more weight. I would love to be back down to 380 by August, but I know that I have to do what it takes to make that happen and right now I am not prepared to do so.