At length, I determined that I was going to have Silas tested for alcohol exposure. Last week I met with Dr Schulteis and he did a 90 minute evaluation. He looked at behaviors, facial markers, reviewed Silas' medical history from Russia (we had it translated in FL to English). In the end, it was clear that Silas did, indeed, have alcohol exposure. The best part of the whole process was hearing Dr Schulteis tell me that Silas' behavior was NOT normal and that he is a very difficult child, behaviorally. This was such a comfort to me - to be heard and understood and validated. The next step is to have an MRI to see if there is any brain damage visible from the alcohol exposure. According to Dr Schulteis, he said that currently he can say that Silas has FAE (Fetal Alcohol Effects) and if the MRI shows brain damage, then it will be the full blown FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) which is what Iryna has. I will, of course, update here after Silas' MRI is completed.
As for how I feel about this news...so glad you asked. It's HARD. I cry almost daily. I want to hide underneath a rock or play games on my phone or sleep. At the same time, I want to be a good mama to all my children, including Silas. I am trying to make a schedule that will be easier for me to succeed in this effort. I have signed up for a Mother's Day Out schedule that is once a week. If the public schools recognize the results from Dr Schulteis, then Silas should qualify for an IEP and get to go to a special ed preschool in the fall. I am a better mama to Silas if I do not have him All. Day. Long. I do hope that in the future I can handle more time with him, but for now I am struggling so much that I feel like I'm in survival mode from the moment I wake up and hear what a wreck his had made. I want to make sure that the time we have together is mostly positive time. I've never been a proponent of preschool, but Silas has been going the past few months and it's been so nice! But now, preschool is over and summer is here. Wish me luck.