Help outfit Michael, Sarah, and John

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Stages

I'm a woman. I go through stages. Sometimes I stay on a stage for a day or two, perhaps a week, month, year, etc. I've been going through the stage where I didn't find myself attractive for most of my life. I've always been overweight--well, since 5th grade. I was told growing up that I have nice eyes, hair, skin...and that my sister Heather was "SO BEAUTIFUL." (It didn't help that she actually modeled)

Part of my thinking was concluded from the fact that I never was asked out on dates. I felt that I had a lot to offer--but I wasn't the typical blonde, thin girl. And before all of you begin to think that I'm throwing myself a pity party or that I must have absolutely no self confidence...I think I may have turned a corner. FINALLY. I looked at myself in the mirror a couple of days ago (yes, full body shot), and I thought--my, don't I look good! I mean, I have a great figure--it's proportioned. Even though my size is bigger than most women I know--I'm still attractive. I wish that I could have felt this earlier in my life...okay, my WHOLE life. But I will settle for feeling/thinking it now. Just remember that when you read this blog--I am being completely honest with my feelings, and I'm sure a week from now I may be fretting about my size, but for now--I accept myself as I am. And let me tell you, it feels pretty darn good. =)

Thanks for all the nice emails/comments. I appreciate you all so much. =)

Today was Ward Conference. President Heap was there and before it began he was up on the stand. My daughter also happened to be up there and I saw her talking with Pres Heap. I was a bit concerned what might be coming out of her mouth--you never know what she might feel like sharing--but I soon forgot about it after the meeting began. When Pres Heap got up to speak, he said that he learned something this morning--something that Anna Pierce taught him. I was pretty worried about what might come next...then he said that he'd asked her if she was Sister Pierce--to which she replied, No, I'm ANNA Pierce. Pres Heap then went on to say how children want to be known by their first names and further--Heavenly Father knows each of us by our first names and knows us completely. It was a fun experience--but there was a moment when I was so scared to know what Anna had taught him. ;)

We had two sisters, Moriah & Emma, come over today. They are both beautiful redheds. Anna was playing doctor with Emma, using crayons pretending to be shots. Then I overheard Anna saying that Emma needed some medicine. Listening to hear what that "medicine" might be, Anna said: "You need Faith Medicine, because we all need Faith." Too precious...

2 comments:

Melisa said...

Ah, the wisdom from age. That is why I'm so glad to be getting older. I'm getting wiser too. I'm glad you are finally seeing your beauty. I'm also getting less self-concious as I get older. It is very freeing. Love ya.

Little Miss said...

It's true (you and I already discussed this issue) but sometimes self confidence doesn't come until later in life; when you can stop seeing yourself the way (you THINK) others perceive you.

It's nice to feel happy, and when you find yourself in another slump, just know we ALL have those moments--and it's Ok.

xxoo