Help outfit Michael, Sarah, and John

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

New course of action

Worked out. Anna's swimming lessons. Consigned some items. Checked out movies/cd/books from the library. Went to the commissary. Filled a prescription. Came home and looked for a brainless activity = played tetris.

We went to Amy's house to play some Carcassonne. (such a fun game, you should really try it. No, really).

I feel it's time to begin a new course of action. Very soon I will be beginning a consistent diet plan (it looks like it will be the South Beach diet) + my exercise regiment at the Y. Tyler & I both feel that I should focus on weight loss and put the whole fertility stuff on the back burner for now. In my mind I feel that if I do what I can and lose weight that the pregnancy will come easily for me. I think that my weight (& God) has prevented me from becoming pregnant because I am so overweight. Morbidly obese, according to my health record on base. Not exactly the healthiest state for becoming pregnant. So, we're actually going to prevent pregnancy (not that we haven't been successful in that for the past 4 years, ha ha) and focus on weight loss. I met with the Bishop tonight, who also struggles with his weight, and we may begin a focus group with other members in the ward and get together on a weekly basis for support. I think it's a great idea & it would be FREE, unlike other diet clinics out there. Well, that's my plan. I am excited about it. I plan to read the South Beach diet book this week and I should be ready by Monday. (I'm a slow reader...)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Jill,

I'm so sorry that you continue to struggle, and that your dreams and happiness are the cost. I can relate, at least to the emotions.

I think the current course of action sounds like the best direction to go. It will continue to be a challenge, as all things worth seeking are, but you have lots of friends who love you, and a wonderful support network in Tyler and Anna, and your families.

As someone who's at times completely given up the last vestiges of hope, please don't take things as absolutely as you sometimes do. You are not a failure because...you don't get the house exactly as clean as you'd like, or because the weight doesn't come off as quickly as it should, or even because you don't get pregnant right away. Those are all issues and concerns, certainly, but they are descriptors of certain aspects, and none of them are definitions for or of you. We all lose sight of that sometimes (OK me more than most), but seek to empower yourself by maintaining your sense of vision. Allow yourself to walk the path that you're on, and not the one(s) you're heckbent (smile), or hellbent, on being on. Having a larger family is your dream. And it's not bad. And you will have more children. Perhaps it's simply not the right time right now. It will happen in its own right time.

Love you guys.
KC