Last night after I put the twins down to bed (separate rooms), I heard Keithy crying - note, he doesn't ever cry when I put him to bed so something was up. I went in and he was very upset, so I decided to rock him on the recliner in his room - something that I used to do a lot, but I've been slacking on it. I picked him up and held him close to me - cheek-on-cheek - and rocked him, humming a song. He goes crazy (guilt trip: it's my fault for not doing this more often) and starts kicking me, hitting me, contorting his body into all sorts of positions, and he was screaming in my ears. I continued rocking and humming with him, while gently reminding him that it's not okay to hit or kick mama (or himself). This went on for 30 minutes before he finally calmed down and we were able to talk. As much as I could tell, he was unhappy about going to bed and he wanted to either jump on the trampoline or swim in the pool. I reminded him that it was late and so I put him down.
After putting him in his bed and closing the door, Anna came up to me wanting something and I just said: "Mama is done for the day." Thankfully, daddy was home and he could take over. It is so emotionally exhausting to be sweet and kind and put up with all that crud at the same time. Poor Keith. I don't know what he went through in the orphanage - or for those first 4 months that he was home with his bio mom - but he has trouble being physically close to people, including his family who loves him. He doesn't like close contact and he resists it. Iryna is the same way, but she will only fight it for a few minutes and then allow it - Keith resists until his whole body is so tired that he can't resist it anymore.
Anyhow, it was just a reminder that my kids