Friday, March 15, 2013

No leftovers

This month I decided to make a menu for 5 weeks of food, including dinners and all meals and snacks. Then I shopped for all the food. I included ordering pizza every other Friday and Tyler and I getting takeout Chinese every other Saturday (date night!) and every Thursday is leftovers night. Then the month began...I realized that on Thursdays I had ZERO leftovers from the previous meals. It occurred to me that with a family of 7 - we just don't have any food leftover from dinners! So I will have to change that for next time I make up a menu.

Tyler & I took Iryna and Keith to see the developmental psychologist on base yesterday. It was Iryna's first time and Keith's follow up appointment. As soon as Dr S started talking with Keith, he commented that Keith was behaving quite differently from the prior visit. I asked him how, and he said that Keith's behaviors were very autistic in nature. Remember that I took Keith in the first time stating that I thought he could have autism? Yeah! So, I found it interesting that Dr S would say that. We are now doing lots of paperwork and will have a full morning of evaluations in Cincinnati very soon.

With Iryna, we talked about doing some behavior modifications in helping her to work on her impulse control. I also had an experience on Wednesday night that I want to post here. I wrote up how I was feeling so I could remember it:

I was recently called to serve as an assistant leader in Activity Days for the 8-9 year old girls at church. Iryna is in the class and she loves it. Tonight it my first time coming and I am struggling on so many levels. I just want to go cry somewhere, but I have to hold it together so I am in the bathroom taking a time out. It is hard seeing other girls acting out bible stories. Iryna is mentally 4-5 (8 years, almost 9). She can't read the stories, she isn't participating. Instead, there is a little girl, about 3 or 4, that Iryna is chasing and playing with. I am helping a group of other girls and they are organized and they understand the scripture story and they are in control of themselves. Iryna is breaking crayons, ripping some of the props, and screaming "No!" at me when I took away the almost broken props. I am losing it. But I am also very sad. I want for Iryna to be able to participate in the activities. I want for her to connect with her peers. But she won't and doesn't and it makes me sad. I think that I may be stressing her by being here at all - since it's her thing - but I think it's more stressful for me because I'm the one tearing up in the bathroom. I don't know that she is gaining anything at all from this experience.

I hosted Bunco for military spouses on Tuesday night. I switched things up and held it at my house instead of the club house. In FL we had Bunco in homes and I liked the intimacy of it. Only 4 girls came on Tuesday. We did have a great time talking and snacking, but I wonder if I should move it back to the club house. Then last night I hosted a GNO game night at my house and only 3 girls came. This must just be an off week for hosting. On the bright side - I have had a clean house for 3 days this week! Woo-hoo!

I've been getting to know a girl name Alison lately. She is also an adoptive mom and has such a fun, spunky personality. I am grateful for all the friends I have in my life. I know that God blesses me when I ask to make good friends. So blessed.

I was sick for 4 weeks. Anna has now been sick for 3. Tyler is still congested. Silas is now coughing. All the other kids seem to be fine. I am feeling much improved, however, my singing voice is not back. I can talk, albeit my voice isn't 100% normal, but when I sing? It's scratchy and doesn't sound good. I can't understand it. And I am sad that I'm missing out on singing with the fabulous Stake Choir here. They are rehearsing for the Easter Cantata that I sang in when we lived in OH last time. I really want to be there, but I have no voice. It's just a sad reality. I hope my voice comes back soon!

Tyler finished up his second quarter with AFIT. He now gets a week break! Hooray! He also has a birthday this month: 35 years old. Why does that sound SO much older than 34?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about Iryna. I have been struggling with the same feelings about my son. I feel so sad when I see him with "typical" kids.