100 is average. Keith is 45. Iryna is 70. I don't know why it makes me sad to see that Keith's is so low. I know that he has made huge progress and I realize that he is delayed...but 45 just seems so low. They said I should strongly pursue speech therapy for Keith of the 3 therapies: PT, OT, Speech.
As per autism, Keith does not have it. The specialist said that he is cognitively delayed with a couple of autistic features, but he is not autistic and not on the spectrum. I am glad to have answers, at least. They also said that I should try to steer his attention away from airplanes, so that he can think about other things as well. This will be difficult, but I will try.
Lately I have been thinking that Silas has FAS. I am in the process of getting him an appointment to have him evaluated. When I mention the idea of FAS to parents without special needs children, I often hear: "Oh, he's just a rowdy three year old." Up to this point I have tried to explain about how Silas acts differently and how his behaviors remind me of Iryna pre-meds, but I am tired of doing it. So, until I have a diagnosis (which I hope is soon) I will just smile and nod, and say, "Oh, really? Thanks." I am not trying to be rude or sassy here, I am just overwhelmed with Silas and some sympathy would go a LONG way instead of trying to persuade me his crazy behaviors are all normal. Rant over.
In addition to Silas, though, I looked at Calvin's philtrum. It was smooth. And I had the specialists at the hospital examine Keith's face. Turns out he has a shallow philtrum - no completely smooth, but on the FAS spectrum. Oh. My. Word. Could I possibly have FOUR FAS/FAE/FASD children?!?!?!?!? I am going to have my three sons evaluated for FAS and see what answers I can find. If Calvin has it, I think it's a very mild case. He functions on a more normal level than the other three. But his mother did drink alcohol post birth and Calvin was taken by the state and put into the orphanage due to her drinking and not caring for him. It's a possibility, for sure.
The weather here has turned warmer, at last! Just yesterday I was able to pack up all the winter clothes and turn on the air conditioner, too! I am eager for warmer weather and sunshine and having the swimming pool be warm enough! I took the younger four kids to the park yesterday. I snapped a picture of Calvin and then Iryna wanted one, too, because Iryna tries to mimic everything Calvin does. This can be good and bad. Ha ha.
3 comments:
I've been concerned about the varieties of special needs your four have or might have. But I felt it was not right to voice the concerns as I have no children of my own, and I certainly have no experience with FAS or the like. What I can tell you is that I have an autistic brother. I believe his autism was once worse than it is now, but he is almost 30 years old. While he will never grow out of it, when he was young he was very anti-social and would rarely make eye contact. He still looks likes he's someplace else regularly, you can ask for his attention and he will give it to you. Or he does to me. He's much more social now.
What I can suggest is to be accepting and patient. I believe you are and do much of the time. Certainly none of us is perfect and has all the answers. It may well be that, one day down the road, your children will have grown out of a significant amount of their challenges. Remember that their issues are challenges and not curses, though they may at times feel like curses to you and maybe them too. Love is the answer hidden in many things. They have all made great strides, including Anna, under your care, and especially from being around each other. Hold on to that in the rough moments. I remember visiting when Keith couldn't even crawl. Look at him now! Iryna's smile will melt your heart if you let it. Encourage her in her new role as a big sister. She seems eager to please, if only her attention will allow it. I don't know Calvin or Silas, but they too seem to have good dispositions. Take heart imagining what they will be able to tell you one day. Consider that their lives might have been a living hell for each of them had you and Tyler not found them. Do your best. It will be enough. And God will make up the difference if it is needed.
Trust. Breathe. Take a personal time out if needed and possible. People love you and are amazed at what you do. No matter what the diagnoses are, you will survive. You will overcome. It will be worth it one day, even if you forget that sometimes. Believe in yourself. I believe in you.
KC
Don't let the numbers scare you! Hang in there. The brain is very plastic. we can learn throughout life.
I've been reading your blog for some time and I just wanted to offer you my support. I remember when my son was 3 or so and I would say that something wasn't quite right. People would tell me "Oh, he's just a typical boy." But I knew that something was wrong and I was right. You sound like a wonderful, level headed mother with a big heart. I trust your judgment. You know Silas better than anyone.
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