Thursday, November 07, 2013
Learning to trust God
For the past few years, there has been a recurring thought in my mind. It sort of goes like this: Why am I living here, in this house, with this family, with this husband, with this wealth, with knowledge of God instead of out in the jungle, poverty-stricken, alone, and without a knowledge of God? God has so many children - as all of us are His children - and there are many children of His who have lived in such difficult circumstances throughout the ages of time. So, why am I here, now, and living the blessed life that I lead? This is not a complaint or anything - just wondering WHY I have so much when others have so LITTLE. I know of families with more children than we have and they live in a smaller house. I see other families living paycheck to paycheck and I reflect on how we are able to pay our bills. I know that life isn't fair, but I guess I wonder what I have done to deserve(?) the life I have. I have been given much.
This morning, in my foggy brain (yes, I am STILL not feeling 100% yet) the thought came to me:
You need to TRUST GOD that He put you where He wanted you to be.
This was one of those "A-ha!" moments. I had been pondering this idea for YEARS and then my mind was opened up to the answer through the Holy Ghost. I realized that my trust in God wasn't as strong as it should be or needs to be. Of course, if you were to ask me if I trusted that God knows best, I would answer YES. So, looking back it seems rather silly that I would almost mourn my blessings because I felt someone else deserved them MORE.
Additionally, I recognize that with many blessings, we are asked to give to others. I must say that I enjoy this so much. I get giddy with opportunities to help others. I love sending packages. I love writing notes. I enjoy sending encouraging texts and messages to other people. I love doing kind acts of service for my family. I would love to have $$$$$ and to be that anonymous donor to help others. I would love to be able to adopt every children who needed a home. In fact, I have this dream to own a Russian or Ukrainian orphanage and fill the lives of those children with music and learning and love and God. I want to help those who are suffering, to let them know that there is HOPE and that I want to help them find it. Perhaps my strong desire to help others has influenced God's decision to put me where I am?
I hope this all makes sense. If you were here in person, I could try to share these thoughts in another way, or I could have Tyler translate for me. He is rather skilled at relaying information in an easy-to-understand way. But for now, this blogpost sufficeth me. I welcome your thoughts.
Articulations by Jill Pierce at 2:39 PM