Help outfit Michael, Sarah, and John

Thursday, October 26, 2017

A post about Sarah

I meant to post about Sarah and John right after I posted about John, but life has been so busy! I am glad I have a few minutes to write today about my Bulgarian Princess, Sarah.

Sarah is the girl who brought our family to Bulgaria. Her file is the first file that we saw and we committed to her shortly afterwards. Once we were able to do so, we began writing her letters and getting to know her via email and photos. I must have watched her videos dozens of times. She has such a sweet smile!

When we traveled to Bulgaria, we went to Lesichovo to meet Sarah. I will never forget seeing her for the first time - she was SO SHORT! Her hair was all done up in a bun and she was so beautiful. Upon my entering the room, she began to cry because she was so nervous for that moment. I was ushered to another room and waited for her to collect her thoughts. After a minute or two, she rushed into the room and gave me a huge hug. I lifted her off the ground as I hugged her tightly. It was an unforgettable moment.

After three days of spending time with Sarah, it was so hard to leave her. Our last morning together, we sat on the couch and cried as we parted ways. For the rest of our time in Bulgaria, I was eager to Sarah on the phone and hear her sweet voice. I cried for the first few days after I left Lesichovo - my connection with Sarah was so strong.

Fast forward to June: when we picked up Sarah from the orphanage, she was very sad to leave her home and her friends. She cried in the car as we drove to Sofia, snuggling up with our fabulous facilitator, Maggie. The next two weeks were very hard for me, emotionally. I was so excited to reconnect with Sarah the way that I had with her in January - but that didn't happen. She began to put up all the walls around her and was very angry with me. Maggie had many talks with Sarah and concluded that she was blaming me for the pain her biological mother had given her for so many years. It was so heart-wrenching that I had several good, long cries during my time in-country.

After coming home, Sarah came around to me quickly - as I was the only female she knew who could speak Bulgarian. She wanted me to be with her often. Initially, I was still trying to sort through my emotions from the time in Bulgaria and her sudden need for a connection was confusing, but also wonderful. I am an affectionate mama, so it was nice to be able to return her affection once she allowed it.

It's been four months since we brought home the triplets. My relationship with Sarah is the hardest of the three Bulgarians, as she exhibits some FASD behaviors. Overall, I would say that things are improving as she begins to trust me more and more. She is stubborn, lazy, and selfish - however, she is also affectionate, empathetic, and kind. She is a beautiful girl with stunning green eyes. I look forward to developing our relationship and reassuring her that I'm not going anywhere - she doesn't need to worry about being rejected, as her 1st mom did repeatedly. I am so thankful for the opportunity to love my Bulgarian princess. She's a gem!

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